The guy told me he loves me. What should I do now?
Love, as you know, is multi-dimensional. For someone love is bright and happy, for others – an unexpected and painful. You think it’s about time to tell your loved one about your feelings and think that it’s so hard. But actually it’s so easy! First, let’s start to sort out the “rules of conducting in love.” Sometimes it happens that you really need an advice at time like this: who can tell me how to act?
HOW TO RESPOND WHEN MAN TELLS YOU HE LOVES YOU?
Unfortunately, we are not used to hear such words that often in our life. And when we hear “I love you” we often don’t know how to respond. Usually there are two ways for it. One is when girl quickly answers “Yes, I love you too” (hoping he is her best bet). The second way she acts aggressively and tells him “Get out”, for example or something even more rude. What kind of a man in a right mind would risk his health to say I love you to such a lady?
But to say “yes” when you hear from man ‘ I love’ just in case you won’t have a better choice in not the best option. You risk getting into relationships with the man you don’t really love. A sharp “no” usually comes from woman spoiled by man’s attention . Or she is the one who is burdened by high self-esteem.
Try to be honest with the man. You probably spent already enough time with him and could draw an adequate conclusions. Try not to play head games and answer honestly.
How to respond if the feeling is mutual?
The trouble is that the response to the recognition in the spirit of “I-too-love-so much!” somehow involves the joint visit to the wedding planner (or bed). But this is not necessarily more so if one of two is not ready. After a declaration of love – an expression of affection and desire to be together more often. That’s all!
Therefore, making sure that your feelings are mutual start to interact, learn each other better, and look for something that can unite you (except your feelings, of course): general studies, hobbies, activities…. Find friends in common. And if after a while your feelings diminish, then this should be taken calmly. It is much wiser than making some silly mistakes.
WHAT IS LEGALLY BINDING ACCEPTANCE OF LOVE?
First of all, it does not mean that you got the right to own your Romeo BF. You only had the opportunity of closer communication, that’s all. And it should translate as no obligation on your part (and the same on his end too). You should not shoot the breeze on every corner that he confessed to you. It will characterize you as dishonorable and untrustworthy person.
It so happens that the your BF begins to demand more in returns. Like, now you must go with me as I wish, be gentle, considerate, etc. It may begin to look more like self-sacrifice. The main thing is to remember that you are not obligated to share his feelings or show yours in unnatural way .
What if I require proof of LOVE?
Many young people are well aware of how to push on the weak spots. If you have nothing but sex to keep your BF go ahead and use it. Just do not be surprised if he is no longer calling you after a while.
Here are three reasons why you should not give him, if you do not want it:
• This is a real blackmail! (Are you still not getting it?) Fine, I will find somebody more accommodating …
• For many guys sex is the top goal of human relations! Only after he claim that mountain he looses any interest for you.
• Why is that you have to prove your love? Do you want to believe me – fine……if not –you are free to go! If he is selfish and thinks only about what he wants, it is your time to ask yourself to think if I really need this blackmailer?
How to react when you do not love?
Indeed, to reject and not to offend the man in love is very difficult. Nevertheless, many manage to deceive themselves as well as him. Even if you mean “no” and answer him “may be” – not because of the fear to offend but rather of loosing the only admirer.
If you do not want to be faced with the stream of hurting negativity or watch a grim statue on the face of the rejected suitor, be understanding and honest. Be sure to give all the thank you can for the outpouring and do it frankly, not mocking. And do not pretend or be a real bitch – it is better to say “no” rather than blurt out a categorical “no way!”. Explain that you will not deny him your companionship but can not respond to his feelings … just not yet.
By the way, there are many examples where the feelings engendered by a considerable time after the guy tells you he loves you! So, do not to alienate your admirer. Who knows, maybe you will feel for him after all.